More Than Pretty Words

There's actually a lot on my heart this morning, actually every morning. Grief is a really heavy burden to bear and it tires everyone out. I really like to share all the sweetness that my boys shine into our world every single day, but no rose is without thorns. You know, there still isn't a day that goes by that I don't question this reality? It's a doozie.

Grief is no competition and I know mine doesn't top somebody else's, so if nothing else, take my grief and know that I share in suffering, maybe not your specific brand of suffering, but suffering in general.
This morning, the Lord brought encouragement to my soul, even before I knew how badly I needed it.

It's a Bible verse, of course. I sometimes refer to verses like it as a "wall verse." A "wall verse" is maybe one that we memorize in our childhood and sing them to a nice Sunday school tune. We might repeat it in speeding ticket situations when we get older. It's not a bad thing to remember scripture in every situation, it's a good thing... especially when we use them in context. More often than not, (I) we repeat the verses into mundane oblivion, but keep them around like a four-leaf clover.

When we have a space to call our own, we might put our wall verses in frames or stick them to our walls because they're really pretty and encouraging and they make us look super dependent on God and like we trust him with our life. (I'm really only speaking for myself and maybe for anyone as doubtful as I.)

And then adversity strikes. Extreme, irreversible, tragic adversity strikes and you start to look at all your wall verses with doubt and maybe even some disdain. You might even pull down your wall verses, or look at the wall verse you bought on clearance for $3.99 at Target but didn't know where you'd put it up for all to ponder and admire... and now that life has hit the fan at full force and you're a blubbering mess, you don't want words on your drywall that you don't even believe!

Today's verse is Phillipians 4:6-7...
"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Several thoughts came to mind. The first being that I really need to worry about this stuff because, if I don't worry, who's gonna take care of it? Then God repeated it a little louder to me. "Don't worry about anything, pray about it istead..." He kept washing those words over my heart like steady ocean waves. He keeps inviting me to tell him about it.

All at once, I marveled at his patience. Lord! You mean I'm free to come crying to you day in and day out and you will never tire of it? What? What kind of grace is that?

God has more often been the recipient of my challenging anger and endless tirades of cursing and yet, when I looked up, he was the only one left. Not out of obligation, but out of love and concern. Very slowly, my heart began to open to his grace, to accept the fact that he alone is enough to satisfy my soul. When given the courage to embrace that truth, you can take the verses from the walls of your home and you engrave them upon the walls of your heart. More than pretty words, they are quite literally the anchor of your soul.

My $3.99 Target clearance wall verse that took me two or more years to put on the wall of my house, because I didn't really believe it possible, is Phillippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always."